How Writing Makes Things Real
Recently, my nephew sorted through hundreds of pictures he found in my sister’s belongings. My sister died this summer at almost 85 years old and she’d collected a mountain of family photos. He sorted them into bins for various family members, scanned them into computer files and created specific collections for all my siblings. The stack he gave me was precious. There were pictures of me as a child I’d never seen, and it brought me to tears to see myself at a young age. There were pictures of me as a young mother, with my now grown kids as toddlers, preschoolers, grade schoolers, and high schoolers. I’d forgotten most of the memories documented in these old photos. Seeing them again let me remember and share those moments and occasions with my family.
My nephew took such care of these priceless memories to make sure that whether digitally or in print, these pictures and memories will last. He took moments that were lost and made them real again. The same thing can happen with writing. Memories, stories, and history can last many lifetimes if they’re written down. This is invaluable because, it turns out that all the little moments, events, and incidences we think are inconsequential are actually the stuff of life!
I’ve kept a daily diary for decades to keep track of the normal, boring events of my day. When I look back over the years, it’s amazing how much I remember just by reading about the things I did, thought, planned, or wanted. My diary is the story of my life, told day-by-day. Some days have big events like birthdays, milestones, and major crises, but not most days. Most days, my entry includes reminders to buy groceries, pay bills, edit a document, meet a deadline, or teach a client. Most days have a few lines about what’s on my mind, what problems I need to solve, goals I want to achieve or things I want to remember. Looking back over the years, I’m reminded that even on the days when big events happen, they usually occur in small increments and accumulated moments.
I’ve worked with a lot of writers who worry that their stories aren’t important enough to write down. I always counter that all great stories are simply collections of small moments that add up to something significant. Hemingway’s “The Old Man and the Sea” was about a dude who went fishing. Gilbert’s “Eat, Pray, Love” was one woman’s travel story. Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird” is about a court trial. Obviously, each of these books is about more than that, but their stories are about events that happen all the time. Thank God the authors didn’t decide they weren’t important enough to write.
When you’re ready to write your story, you’ll want to create a structure that helps you write from beginning to end, most likely, an outline. And what is an outline other than the breakdown of a story into incremental moments and events, some of which are big deals and many of which are small. The smaller moments lead us to the big ones. The big moments provide contrast to the everydayness of life. As a writer, you’ll write from one incident to the next, one moment to the next, until you’ve covered the story in full. It might be about something common, like your parents’ immigration story, your summer abroad, or someone’s love story. But when you write it down, moment by moment, detail by detail, it turns out to be important. It captures something that previously existed only in our imagination and memory. That’s the magic of writing, photography, music, and art. It makes things real. It makes them last.
Make it stand out
