Chores for the soul: turn ordinary household tasks into extraordinary moments of calm - Well-Being
Better Homes & Gardens
December 2003
It was coming up on Christmas and the house was a mess. Worse still, visitors were descending upon Joanne's home in ever-increasing numbers. And her thoughts were heavy with concern about her seriously ill father.
Yet, there she was, sitting quietly in the basement, folding laundry.
In another household, Anne's day held the promise of overwork. She was on-call at the hospital, had two board meetings to attend, and needed to shuttle kids between school and sporting events. Why, then, was she calmly vacuuming the living room?
What these two have discovered is the power of chores for soothing the soul. Some people use yoga or exercise to chill out, while others seek solace in soiled linens and sudsy sinks. And rightly so, says Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of New Hampshire and author of A Well Ordered Home. "It busies your hands while at the same time freeing up your mind," she says.
Although we often feel overwhelmed by our immediate environment--namely our messy homes and hectic schedules--these same surroundings can provide a solution to our distress. "You have to do these chores anyway," says Dr. Steven J. Weisman, director of the Pain Management Program at the Children's Hospital of Wisconsin in Milwaukee. "Why not do them mindfully?"
Mindfulness is an age-old meditative process that means bringing moment-to-moment awareness to whatever you're doing, says Weisman. By focusing solely on the activity, all your worries get shunted to the side. Chores are ideal candidates for mindfulness because they don't require a lot of brainpower and they have a soothingly repetitive nature. So how do you turn an ordinary chore into a means of relaxation?
For starters, you need to pick a favorite. Almost everyone has a best liked household task that would be a prime candidate for mindfulness. could be in the kitchen washing dishes. Or maybe it's in the garage, spending more time than is really necessary to detail the car. Or perhaps it's in corner of the laundry room over a warm iron. Think of the chore that brings you the most pleasure and then adapt it with the following strategies.
CREATE THE SPACE. The kids aren't allowed in the bathroom when you're trying to relax in the tub. The same should be true of the area in which you perform your chosen chore. Let everyone know that the basement, bedroom, or kitchen is off-limits when you're working. Add a few soothing touches to the space. Keep a stem or two of flowers in a bud vase by the kitchen sink. Put up a picture of a tranquil scene next to the washing machine. Bring in some ported plants.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SOUND. In the quest to de-stress, it's important to t and get away from such intrusive sounds as traffic rolling by and kids playing noisily on the computer. White noise is a great way to build protective bubble around your private space. That could mean running floor fan while you're ironing. Or putting a load in the dryer while you're folding clothes. Some chores, such as vacuuming, come with their own built-in white noise. Music also helps. Combine music with something repetitive, and you're drawn toward a relaxing state, says Kendall-Tackett
UPGRADE YOUR TOOLS. It's hard to be mellow when your cheapie iron is sticking to the shirts and the vacuum cleaner keeps cutting out. Spend a few extra dollars to get a top-quality appliance or high-grade cleaning product for whatever chore you've chosen. That will make the experience even more pleasant, says Kendall-Tackett.
BREATHE. Before you get to work, take two or three deep, slow breaths and, on each one, deliberately exhale the stress you're feeling. Repeat this process any time you feel tension creeping back into your mind. "Those deep breaths really make dramatic physiological changes," says Weisman
Focus ON THE DETAILS. Mindfulness means giving your complete attention to the task at hand. Normally, your mind is frenetically going over 10 other things at once. By focusing completely on the chore in front of you, you turn that frenzy off for a while.
SAY THANK YOU. Once you're done and just about to reenter the real world stop for a moment and reflect on the idea of gratitude, thankful for clothes to wash, a lawn to mow, or the food that goes on the just-washed dishes. This gives you much-needed perspective that can sustain you through everyday challenges.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Meredith Corporation
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group